Argh Totally Lost and Confused

The panic and axiety have set in full force in regards to the kids schooling. I go between feeling wonderful and confident with our choice to homeschool this year to a full on anxiety and panic attack.
I have such strong issues with the school they have been attending that I swore up and down they were not returning this year. But with fall and back to school quickly approaching I am losing confidence and wondering if I can handle this adventure.
I have contacted some other public school that are out of "catchment" but they are far from helpful and make me feel horrible for even considering switching schools.
There is another private school we have looked at but it is really far, really expensive and Jay and I both don't feel like blowing another $100 bucks on application fees to get a "no" answer.
So, here I am in tears again with my stomach in knots trying to make the best choice for the kids and our family.
Do we talk to the current school before school starts and explain our expectations and issues firmly so there are no issues or do I just keep them home? Do I send them and pull them if there are nonsensical issues?
I know I've said it before but I really never though this would be so hard....

Meanest Mom in the World

I must be the meanest Mom in the world as I plopped my baby girl on top of a pony at last weekends church picnic family day. Poor Jordyn was devestated and poor Corey was of course allergic ;)



Wow, I feel like I have so much to blog about lately and I'm days behind in my "online journal."



On a happy note. Michael's flight arrived yesterday morning on Canada Day and we spent a great day at the beach followed by dinner at Applebees!
Wish us luck with 5 kids in the house :)

So Sad and Dissapointed

We just got the call from Linden Christian and our kids were not accepted for next year :( I couldn't get off the phone fast enough for fear of crying but I am so, so sad.
I have been praying so hard for this and really felt after the interviews that this was the place for our kids and family.
Now we are back to square one :(

I think I'm starting to "get it"

Corey has been playing baseball this year. It has been an adventurous season so far with lots of rain and cold weather but here we are in the play-offs. There were days I sat out in my winter coat and mitts in June and other evenings it was so hot we were getting sunburnt.
Two months ago they started practicing in their little red jerseys and gray baseball pants. We have the youngest team in our league so when I say little I really do mean it ;)
It was painful to watch as the kids stumbled around and could barely catch the ball, forget about connecting it with a bat to hit it. Now though it is like watching the big leagues! I am so proud of these boys who have learned so many new skills and are shining out there on that diamond.
Like I said they are in the play offs and next will be the city play offs! I see how parents get all caught up in their kids sporting events. It is so exciting to see them do well and they are so proud of themselves. I hope Corey plays next year now that he is understanding the game and having a good time. I still will not pressure my kids to play and push them to the max but I do think it is important to be involved.
Here are some pics of my guy :)

My Little Princess

I was 10 when I got my ears pierced. Kianne got hers done at 9. Jordyn got hers done on Saturday June 19th at the tender age of 27 months.
I was always one of those mothers that insisted you don't pierce babies ears and wait until they are old enough to decide on their own. Well that went out the window.
I'm not really sure why....I guess Jordyn really is the little princess who needs to be all girl all. the. time.
I will admit that I felt like a horrible mother at the time as she cried and looked so sad and scared :( But the lady gave her a sucker after and all seemed to be well in her world again :)
I bought some special numbing cream that I think was useless and a waste of $15. So if anyone is considering getting it done I wouldn't waste your money on the cream.

Easier to not Care

Sometimes I wish I could be one of those parents that had no care in the world what my kids were up to or learning or exposed to. I think it must be so easy. To just roll along and really be clueless.
Maybe it is because our values are different from a lot of society that I have to question everything.
It is such a fine line between letting your kids develop and explore and learn on their own and "helicoptering" over top of their every move.
I do not want to be the helicopter parent but find that in some cases it is absolutely neccesary. As they get older I suppose I'll need to start my descent and let them find their wings. In the meantime though I will continue to question and observe and sometimes make choices for my kids that go against the grain.
As a parent I have a job to do and I must take that seriously.

So Proud of My Girl

For the second year in a row Kianne made it to the divisional meet for track and field. She is a great little runner and I am so proud of her :)
The weather was a little risky but it held off. Although it was much colder than I suspected. Matthew, Jordyn and I had a great time cheering her on and it was a shame we couldn't stay the whole day but we had to get home for Corey for lunch.









And although she didn't come in first, second or even third she was great out there :)

Wordless Wednesday

Choices, choices.... re:school

I had made a decision a little while back that no matter what, my two school age kids were NOT returning to the school they have been attending. It has been a horrible experience and has been year after year of heartache and drama.
The labels and nonsense that follows is causing far too much stress for one family to deal with. Granted the kids have had some wonderful teachers I think the problem runs deeper than that. I don't even want to blame it on the administration but perhaps the "system" as a whole.
We are fortunate to know a lady who is the vice principle of a great Christian private school where the kids could possibly get a fresh start. She had offered to review our documents and see if they may have space for our children in the fall.
I received a call today that was slightly encouraging but does leave some serious decisions to be made.
Ms. D suggested that K repeat grade 5. Being a private school they are already quite advanced and K does really struggle in her math.
C she was a little less sure about because of the funding he receives for an EA in the classroom. The support is up in 2011 and at that time they need to reapply and hope he gets it.
So, basically we were told to for sure apply for K and we could apply for C but no guarantees for anything.
I guess that is what we will do and see what comes out of it. If not, I suppose we will homeschool for a year or two and maybe then try and introduce them back into the public school system.

On another note, we had the most rain in recorded history in a 24 hour period over the weekend. It was crazy really. I worked a wedding and it was by the far the rainiest wedding I've ever done.

Yuck

It seems there is some sort of stomach bug going around lately. Everyone I talk to has been sick. I guess it's my turn. I have had a headache for days and my coffee seems to be making me nauseous.
Matthew finally played his first soccer game last night. After cancellations for rain they played. I am a horrible mother and didn't go though. It was pretty cold and rainy and I knew Matthew wouldn't feel it out on the field but the kids and I would be cold and soaked. Hopefully his next game will be a nice day though and we'll all go.
Apparently he did great and was quite the little runner. I have no doubt that he will do well I am just worried about the three year old melt downs that may occur ;)
The weekend came and went quickly after a much anticiapted getaway to the States with some girlfriends. We had a great time of shopping and not dragging kids or worrying about schedules. However, like true mothers we were up at 4:00 in the morning to pee and up for the day at 7a.m. Seriously, even if you want to sleep in or sleep through the night it is like a skill you have to learn all over again.
We got some really great stuff though and good finds.
I don't really have any pics to post at this particular moment but it always feel strange doing a blog post without a pic. Maybe I'll add one later.

ADHD

If anyone in this house really has ADHD it is me. I mean I cannot focus on any one thing or task for any real length of time. I am impulsive and have new ideas however as soon as a little bit of work is involved I am also the first to move on and find something else to intrigue or excite me.
I think it is interesting that both of my kids have been "diagnosed" with ADHD and yet I seem to have made it fine through life.
I've never taken a drug or any type of meds to help me focus or be less impulsive. I also never had extra helpers in any of my classes to keep me in control. Maybe though, people and teachers weren't looking for the typical adhd symptoms and therefore I wasn't a target.
Anyway, all this to say that I am pretty sure that I likely do have adhd however life goes on and somehow I manage it without even really knowing or paying attention.
Would drugs or meds have helped me? Maybe but I'm sure as heck not going to find out at this point in my life.
So, do my kids need meds or will they just learn to grow into it and adapt to life the way I'm sure thousands of people have?
I worry for them with the targets and labels and the idea that they have to settle for second best.
I have already heard that Corey will make a really good trades person and not be a professional. My opinion of course is that if he wants to be a trades person I am perfectly fine with that but I want it to be his choice and not be led into believing that is all he can achieve.
I want my kids to succeed in life just like everyone else but I don't want them limited by labels.

Wordless Wednesday-Blast From the Past

Ummm can we skip the next two months????

My calendar is seriously overflowing. I am totally overwhelmed and am wondering what the heck I singed up for and how we are going to manage.
Corey is in little league baseball but it would appear that he is going to be the next Babe Ruth by the amount of practices and games that are scheduled. Matthew is in mini soccer and that is also two nights a week.
Thank goodness Boys and Girls clubs had their wind-ups tonight or I'm not sure how we would do it.
So right now this is the family schedule
Monday-soccer
Tuesday-baseball game
Wednesday-soccer and baseball practice we are also supposed to have small group
Thursday-baseball game
Friday-so far so good :)
Saturday-baseball practice and of course any sessions or weddings I have booked
Sunday-family day hopefully. I really want to try and keep Sundays open for just us

Okay so as I write this down it doesn't seem to look as bad, but it sure feels like it. I guess the thing is this is only two kids in two sports. I cannot imagine how some parent's have their kids in everything and all sorts of activities. Where do they find the time?

I do think it is very important for kids to be involved and active in sports and other activities they enjoy so I suppose we make the sacrifice for two months and hope that in the end they have a good time and good memories :)

Spring has certainly sprung

I cannot believe the Spring we have been having. I don't remember such a wonderfully warm yet dry spring. People have been out and about enjoying this summer like weather. The sprinkers have been on and I've even been tempted to bring out the pool for the kids.
We had a wonderful bar-b-que for Jayson's birthday with some good friends and family and it couldn't have been a nicer Sunday.
Baseball has started for Corey and the kids cannot get enough of being out in the sun.
If the weather continues like this we'll have a scorcher of a summer, however we are owed it from the misery of last summer.
Wedding season has begun and work is busy. I'm finding it really difficult juggling it all this time round. Matthew and Jordyn are so much busier and need to be entertained and of course nap for shorter periods of time so I'm stuck doing work later in the evening when everyone is in bed. I know it will all work itself out but I think I need to find a new groove.

And just for fun here is a recent pic of my little Jordyn that I just thought was too cute not to share.

Wordless Wednesday

My baby is 2

Two years ago our littlest girl entered the world. I can't believe how much time has passed and how much she has grown.
I am happy to say she now finally sleeps through the night (most nights). Walks, runs, jumps and is starting to say some words. Her first word was about a month ago and we are proud to say it was "bum". Pronounced BUMMMMMMMMMM. Other words that are coming along are, "all done", "more" (which she also signs), She also signs for milk. Granted most two year olds are talking way more than her we are certainly not worried.
Jordyn was by far my hardest baby with colic that seemed to last forever, a lactose intolerance that was likely the cause of her colic, not sleeping through the night for what seemed like forever, and being an unexpected surprise on top of it all :D

However, with all that being said she is the sweetest little thing anyone could hope for and we are all happy to have a wonderful little girl in our lives.

Happy Birthday to my little peanut and princess Jordyn!

Excited, Nervous, Scared, so many emotions

All over a trip to Mexico for my brothers wedding. They have chosen to have a destination wedding at a very swanky resort and we can't all go as it is just WAY too much money. I am lucky though that I am going. At first I was going to bring Jordyn because way back when this was first discussed she was still quite young and pretty hard to deal with as a baby. Plus babies under two travel free ;) I figured that way hubby would only have to deal with 3 kids instead of four.
As the date gets closer though (next month) Jordyn will be such a drag to have with me. I mean I'll be relegated to my hotel room for naps and early bed times while everyone else is out having a good time. She is also a much better baby now so she can stay home with dad.
I think it's funny though that most women would die for chance to get away for a week to some exotic and hot place without kids and I'm terrified. I've teared up a couple times this week already thinking about leaving them.
I have so many crazy thoughts that I know are unfounded and really quite ridiculous but I can't seem to help it. I know a big part of my issues are control. For instance I really don't think the week at home is going to run anywhere like it does when I'm home. I'm worried homework won't get done, meds won't be taken, Corey will have an asthma attack, Jordyn will be in her crib crying all night because no one will hear her, the kids won't have baths and will eat KD for a week, morning, noon and night. Then of course there is the chance my plane will crash and that this fate of KD and no baths will be their life for the rest of their childhood!!!
Now of course I am totally looking forward to getting away. It will be so nice to sleep in and enjoy the hot weather.
I guess it's true though that you NEVER stop being a mother. Even when I will be thousands of miles away I know that most of my thoughts will be on my family and my children. I know that KD for a week and no baths will not be the death of me or them and I know my hubby is quite capable so I just need to relax.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I haven't even left yet and I'm already appreciating what I have more than before.
I thought I should throw a pic on this post as my last couple haven't had any. Check out the amazing frost we had the other day.

Lots going on

Well it seems I have gotten too busy again to update this blog. As per my last post I think I have finally decided I am content with my photo blog the way it is.

We are in the process of some big changes in the P/G household. The first one being a possible move. I mean admittedly we had outgrown our little home the moment we moved in however we had to start somewhere and we can at least way this house is ours. (well technically the banks but that is neither here nor there)
When we took possession of our little house I was extremely pregnant. Infact it was only 3 short weeks after we moved in that we had Matthew. Of course a short time later ms Jordyn graced us with her prescense. pardon the pun ;)
So now we are in a little 900 sqaure foot bungalow with 6 people. Oh and don't forget the dumb dog! Well luckily Jayson is handy and so he built an extra bedroom downstairs. That still only leaves though 4 bedrooms for 6 people.
Anyways, all this to say that it is time to move on to something a little bigger and where there are at least rooms for everyone.
We are meeting with a real estate agent tonight to hopefully get the ball rolling and figure out exactly what needs to be done.
We have had our eyes on the Niverville area for quite sometime and the housing costs are substantilly lower there and really only 20 mins from where we are anyway. I hear the schools are pretty good as well.
School, that brings me to another heater topic. I don't honestly know if I should even get started. Needless to say things have been really bad and at this point my kids WILL NOT be going back there next year. It has just been one nightmare after another. Yesterday the school even went so far as to tell me I don't feed my kid enough and that he is so hungry. They questioned every meal I gave him and told me it wasn't enough.
That is just the tip of the iceberg. I also have a report from a dr. indicating that Kianne's teacher has reported she is one grade level behind in all her core subjets.... hmmm this is the first we have ever heard this. So my first question of course is why hasn't the school or the teacher been in contact with me about this issue. Why in the world am I reading it from a dr's report?!?!? So of course this prompted me to check last years report card as we had not received one yet for this year. As of last year all was well and expectations were being met. Something didn't sound right but I wanted to get this years report from the teacher and then review it. Well you can imagine my shock when I received the report card yesterday and again the expectations are all being met?!?!? Okay, now I may not be the smartest kid on the block however, if I have one report that is saying she is below a full grade and another report that says she is meeting all expectations....something is NOT adding up.
Of course this sent me over the edge! Someone is being lied to. Either myself as the parent or the dr. Now the scary thing is that if the Dr is being lied to by the school she is making diagnosis' based on teachers reports and in turn prescribing narcotics.... THIS is a serious situation.
I have put in a call to the dr as I want a copy of the report that was sent from Kianne's teacher. Once I have that there will be a meeting with the school to figure out all this nonsense.
Well I wasn't going to get into it but as you can tell this is a huge issue and one I will not let die.
I don't know what to do about this school we are dealing with but my kids will not be returning.

Christmas in a nutshell

Well I am having a hard time keeping up with this whole blogging thing. For some reason I have lots to say but I am so uninspired to put it all down.
We had a wonderful Christmas in this house. It is so much fun with the kids to see them on Christmas morning. I think though that from now we will not put any presents out until Christmas eve. We also got a real Christmas tree this year. Smells sooo good.
For the first time ever in my life we also did a gingerbread house. That was also a lot of fun and looked great on the table. I love Christmas!

Fear vs. Fact

It seems the whole world is in an uproar over H1N1 and what to do about it. Everywhere you turn there is some sort of "news". Vaccinate against the deadly virus, don't take this poison, It is too new, There is a pandemic, and the list goes on and on and on.
What are we to believe though? What is the best thing for us and our families? I believe that everyone chooses what they think is the best for themselves and their families and we just need to run with that.
We will not be vaccinating and just practicing very good hand washing etc... I am not comfortable yet with the vaccine although I have seriously considered it for Corey who is asthmatic.
Some of the safe guards we are taking here at home are:
-washing our hands as soon as we come in from any public place
-taking our vitamins
-trying to eat a well balanced diet with lots of fruit and veggies.

All I can do is hope I have made the right choice for myself and my family. If God forbid one of us gets seriously ill I will then of course question my choice and wish that we had taken the vaccine. However, if we get the vaccine and suffer some serious side effects or death due it I will be kicking myself for that choice as well. Is it a lose/lose situation? I don't think so. If we all live today like it is our last day then we should have a fulfilling and happy life :-)